An Excellent Resource!

Hey Family!

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but we're going through Danny Silk's DVD set, "Defining the Relationship" on Tuesday nights at Chi Alpha. It is- what. Eye-opening. Healthy. Life changing.

Phil and I have been married for almost 20 years, and we have been through a lot of stuff. We started out tough. Neither of us had any relationship skills, or any life skills, really. Just sort of "winged it." We didn't even have pre-marital counseling. No idea how to handle money or arguments or raise children.

By the grace of God alone, we are still married & thriving, 20 years later! Yay! And we've learned a ton. So after 20 years, you kind of think you got it, or at least most of it, you know? I mean, we don't think that out loud- it's just sort of there in the back of your mind. Well. One listen to this dvd set and we realized we don't know nothin'.

So three listens later, we are still getting good good good stuff. I have learned that my primary love languages- meaning how I hear that someone loves me - are words of affirmation and acts of service. How do I know? When someone needs to tell me something critical- something I need to hear- the only way I can hear it without going into attack/defense mode is what Danny calls a "hero sandwich." It looks like this: "You rock/you suck/you rock." IE- Tell me something good about what I'm doing, then tell me what I'm doing wrong, then tell me something good again. I'll hear it better that way, and I'll know you love me and not trying to hurt me.

See? Good stuff, I told you.

There are several couples and several singles going through the dvd's with us right now. It's finals week, so tonight is our last night on campus. We will continue with this at our home this summer, meeting on Tuesday nights. There are 9 sessions, and once we are through, we will probably just start all over and go through again this summer, for people who want to get in on it.

If you want to get in on it and you aren't in Bemidji, here's a link where you can buy the set:

http://www.ibethel.org/store/advanced_search_result.php?search_in_description=1&categories_id=0&keywords=Defining+the+Relationship&x=10&y=2


You won't regret it. It's all about healthy relationships- no matter where we are. Marriage, family, raising kids, work, ministry, art, music- whatever, whatever. Learn to relate well and you will influence the world.

Have a great day!