Just a little snapshot for you...

Wish I had a picture for you: our international students have NEVER jumped on a trampoline! Our neighbors have one- and we took the load of them over there a few weeks ago. Wow. I am told it was hilarious. Such a good release after stressful finals! A few days ago, Mingma came for brunch before we took him to the airport. He'll be back in August, but is spending his summer with his Mom who is visiting relatives in New York. Phil and Eli took him over to the Wille's for one more jump on the tramp. He said to Phil, while jumping, "When I am on the trampoline, I am the child."

Just had to share that one!!

Summer !

Have you ever had a list longer than your summer? That's pretty much our summer :) But it's ok- we have great friends and students like Mark, Susan, and Nolan, who share their time and help us get stuff done around here. Most of you know we put in 300 raspberry plants, blueberries, apples trees, and peonies last summer with the hopes of a "thooft family summer job" - and the deer promptly started enjoying. So this week, after a year long wait, the DNR is putting up our fence. With our help. It's been fun. You can see more at www.downtoearthgardener.wordpress.com.

Phil has been enjoying his Thursday night men's group, and we are still going through our Danny Silk Relationship dvd's on Tuesdays. Although in the summer, it's kind of hit and miss. And Friday nights, we worship & pray at the Thooft ranch. We hope to be full time on campus again by fall, but frankly, that would take a miracle, and while we believe in miracles, right now we have a plan A and a plan B. :) Plan A- back on campus full time, Plan B- keep doing what we're doing until we can be back on full time. Thank you so much, all of you who continue to support us with your prayers and finances. You bless us SO MUCH!!

Saturday morning, we say goodbye to another international student, Mingma. But he's only leaving for the summer, so this time the trip to the airport isn't a sad one. So many are coming back!

We also hope to get a group of students to the cities in June for Reach the U at the North Central campus. Working on it.

Grace is taking a Doula training course- and I have to go pick her up! I just wanted to give you a quick update, family. Hope your May is as lovely as ours!

Love, Us Thoofts

Staff Retreat

Once a year, Mike calls all us MN Chi Alpha staff together for a staff retreat. It's great. We talk shop, but we also hang out and play games and laugh and de-compress. And we remember we're not alone :) We had a blast- I didn't take any pictures, but here's a few Jeff took. Top left, a bunch of us playing Settlers. Uh....we Thooft's have a few unofficial Settler's rules that can drive the more competitve a little crazy. Like, we give stuff away out of mercy. So, I played that way....and won the game. Hilarious. Top right, a fabulous shot of our fearless leader, Mike. He's so funny. That's Chuck Haavik from UMD next to him. Bottom, Phil and Ashok doing what Ashok does best: laughing. What a breath of fresh air it was!

Hate it when my babies leave....

Ok, so I know a lot of you are empty nesters. And we're not, not quite yet, although it's coming too darn soon. Today I performed a campus pastor ritual. I drove a student to the airport. Only this time, it was for good. Ming came to BSU last fall, became our "daughter" via family friends, stayed a year, and transferred.

She is on her way to Dallas, TX. Anyone know any mothers & fathers in Dallas? How about Ocean City? New York? Pittsburg? Baltimore?

This is where they are all going, some for the summer, some for good. They need families who will love them and help them through crazy unfamiliar American stuff. Enjoy them. Let them teach you to cook. If anyone reading this has any connections, please let me know, and I will connect you to our kids, so they can become your kids.

You know, Fidel Castro came to the US as a student. Four years later, he left, hating America and Americans. Went on to control a country and kill a lot of people, to put it simply. What if an American family had befriended him? Loved him, honored him? What would our world look like today?

Anyway, I have to go make lunch for my own babies. But I have a young lady on a plane to Dallas right now that I left with tears in her eyes, and mine. I hate it when they leave. So please keep Ming - and Tenzin and Tashi- in your prayers. They have left Bemidji for good, with the gospel told and hopefully, shown. Pray for their safety- all of them- Sudhir and Bina and Bikash and Anish and Sanjay - there are so many more!

Thank you for partnering with us!

Love, us Thoofts

An Excellent Resource!

Hey Family!

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but we're going through Danny Silk's DVD set, "Defining the Relationship" on Tuesday nights at Chi Alpha. It is- what. Eye-opening. Healthy. Life changing.

Phil and I have been married for almost 20 years, and we have been through a lot of stuff. We started out tough. Neither of us had any relationship skills, or any life skills, really. Just sort of "winged it." We didn't even have pre-marital counseling. No idea how to handle money or arguments or raise children.

By the grace of God alone, we are still married & thriving, 20 years later! Yay! And we've learned a ton. So after 20 years, you kind of think you got it, or at least most of it, you know? I mean, we don't think that out loud- it's just sort of there in the back of your mind. Well. One listen to this dvd set and we realized we don't know nothin'.

So three listens later, we are still getting good good good stuff. I have learned that my primary love languages- meaning how I hear that someone loves me - are words of affirmation and acts of service. How do I know? When someone needs to tell me something critical- something I need to hear- the only way I can hear it without going into attack/defense mode is what Danny calls a "hero sandwich." It looks like this: "You rock/you suck/you rock." IE- Tell me something good about what I'm doing, then tell me what I'm doing wrong, then tell me something good again. I'll hear it better that way, and I'll know you love me and not trying to hurt me.

See? Good stuff, I told you.

There are several couples and several singles going through the dvd's with us right now. It's finals week, so tonight is our last night on campus. We will continue with this at our home this summer, meeting on Tuesday nights. There are 9 sessions, and once we are through, we will probably just start all over and go through again this summer, for people who want to get in on it.

If you want to get in on it and you aren't in Bemidji, here's a link where you can buy the set:

http://www.ibethel.org/store/advanced_search_result.php?search_in_description=1&categories_id=0&keywords=Defining+the+Relationship&x=10&y=2


You won't regret it. It's all about healthy relationships- no matter where we are. Marriage, family, raising kids, work, ministry, art, music- whatever, whatever. Learn to relate well and you will influence the world.

Have a great day!

International Party Time!

Well family we had a wow weekend! Friday night was our worship night and we had a crowd. We prayed for situations brewing in our town, and grieved over the death of our friend Dan Cornia. He was 52 and brain cancer took his life. Super illegal. But we still believe.

Saturday night we had a crowd of teenagers. They're always such a hoot. Sunday afternoon our friend Sudhir came and started cooking. That man can cook. I feel like I know a few things in the kitchen, but when Sudhir comes, I am a kindergardener. So we chopped oceans of onions and carefully avoided the "american killer" peppers he loves to put in stuff, and mashed garlic and ginger. He talked of the open markets in Kathmandu, and how by 7 at night the temperatures have cooled from the daytime 110, and people start coming out, coming to the markets. You can buy anything there, he says. It is a wonderful place to see friends and hang out. He wants us to come to Kathmandu with him in three years when he travels home. They all tell us stories of the monkeys that roam the streets- like the squirrels we have here. If you're not careful, the monkeys will steal your food. You have to hide it. One jumped on Bina once and pulled a bag of chips out of her backpack! We hope to travel there someday.

By 6 ish, he left to go pick up a carload of friends, and Phil did the same. I think the final count last night was 15 Nepalis, 13 americans. At one point we were all gathered around the kitchen island wrapping momo. Sanjay was teaching me how to do it right. He said something to Asmita, and she answered back in Nepali. I copied her. Laughter erupted all around, because what I said to Sanjay, with apparent gusto and not meaning to obviously, was "shut up!" Hilarious.

It was Eli's 7th birthday yesterday. I knew our friends were planning to go together and buy him a gift- but I didn't expect a BIKE!! They showed up with a super cool red dirt bike - with training wheels!! He was freaking out. Then the second car load showed up with Atlantis Legos - !! And puzzles!! and Bionicles!! The kid had a banner day!

Bina- Sudhir's un-official fiance- brought a surprise last night. She brought 2 saris- traditional dress for Nepai women. And she "dressed up" myself and my friend Cheryl, who was a tremendous sport, I might add! It was really funny walking out of the dressing room (our bedroom) all decked out like a Nepali woman going to a party. So fun to see the looks on their faces- us white ladies wearing their dress. I felt like I honored them. And it was a blast. Grace tried one on later and loved it.

You know, Eli coined a word for our international friends. He calls them his "exotic" friends. So we white gals got to wear their exotic clothing. They said that if we were walking down the streets of Kathmandu, we would turn a lot of heads. Not necessarily because of our dress, but because we're so white, in our dress. A friend of ours tells a funny story about being in Kathmandu. One night after stuff was locked down for the night- apparently if you're a tourist they don't suggest you go out at night- and the hotel doors were locked. So he and his friend snuck out a window and followed the sound of music. Locating the door from which behind came the strains, they pounded. The door flung open to reveal a wedding party. The partiers eyes lit up, they grabbed our friends by the shirt, and pulled them into the room, exclaiming, "white man!!" Apparently we are good luck at a wedding.

So we partied last night, in our saris, with oceans of spicy food and american friends who understand that here is a crowd of the world in our livingroom. Chi Alpha's mission statement is to transform the university, the marketplace, and the world. The world comes right to our door, so by loving them, they go back and transform their culture. This is international relations at it's best. And it's so dang easy. And fun. Saturday we're all invited to Sudhir's house to party. I am so looking forward to it!

Have a fabulous day, family! we love you!

April 2010: A Generation of Monsters

Somehow, we lost our ipod. Phil and I had one we shared, and it has disappeared. So lately, when I walk or run on my friend Cheryl's elliptical, I use Maddie's ipod. Most of the stuff on there is disney princess stuff, but I bypass that for some good "walking music" - Paper Tongues, Family Force 5, Skillet....


These are bands made up of people that are the age group that Phil and I spend our lives with here at Bemidji State. They come on Tuesday nights on campus and Friday nights to our house, and they hang out on Sundays for international food and family time. They come on Monday nights because they don't have friends and they meet with Phil on Thursday nights because they just need a group of men to talk to who will help them know how to be men. I listen to what these have to say, while I'm running or walking.


The fact that I was a metal head in college myself helps, because their words are encased in incredibly talented guitars. And it's loud.


Here's what I heard today:


The secret side of me/I'll never let you see/I keep it caged but I can't control it

So stay away from me/the beast is ugly/I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls/in the closet, in the halls/it comes awake and I can't control it

Hidin' under my bed, in my body, in my head

Why won't somebody come and save me from this/make it end

I feel it deep within/it's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster


Basically, it goes on like that for awhile. I asked my daughter about it and she said, "Mom, that is THE song at school right now. Everyone knows it and loves it." So I asked her what else "everyone" knows and loves, and she ran me some lyrics:


How can you see into my eyes/like open doors?/ladling you down into my core/where I've become so numb

without a soul/my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold/until you find it there and lead it back/Home
wake me up inside/wake me up inside/save me/call my name and save me from the dark

bid my blood to run/i can't wake up/before i come undone

save me from the nothing I've become


She printed me lyrics from Evanescence, Linkin Park, Slipknot, Skillet - and wow, I heard the voice of a generation.


Paper Tongues is a band that just came out. A friend of ours is in the band, and I texted him the other day that the lyrics are full of hope. He was so encouraged- that is what they're trying to give- HOPE. I love it. One line: "but if you hold their hand/just before they break/you can crush their guilt"


My kids love that line. They go to the high school for a class and hold kids hands. Our girls are known on campus as lovers. Kids run to them to get their daily dose of love. Tomorrow night, a crowd of them are coming to the Thooft house for movies, snacks, encouragement, and yes, hugs. Tonight is worship night and a crowd comes to get wrecked in the presence of God, get prayer for their needs, get trained to go out and transform the campus, the community, the world. Sunday, a crowd of Nepalis are coming for Elijah's birthday- all his "exotic" friends, as he has dubbed them.


Tuesday nights on campus we are going through Danny Silk's dvd series, "Defining the Relationship." It's created especially for couples considering marriage, but it's all about relationship skills, so we give it to everyone. Good, good stuff. You can check it out yourself at http://www.ibethel.org/ in their store.


Our short term goals, family, are to work as long as we need to outside Chi Alpha, while still doing as much with students as we can, to get out of debt. Then we'll be able to be back on campus full time. We need your prayers- we have lots of irons in the fire to help with this. Last year we planted 300 raspberry bushes, 30 blueberries, 100 peonies, and put up a greenhouse. We hope to have a family "summer job" of selling produce & fruit. Pray that the harvest is HUGE!! You can check our progress in that area at http://www.downtoearthgardener.wordpress.com/.


Thank you so much to all of you who have continued to support us and our ministry here at Bemidji State even through these trying financial times. We appreciate it so much! I asked one of our graduated students, who is still living here and attending all our events and has kind of become our right arm, to write you a little note on what Chi Alpha has been to him. Sometimes it's just good for you to hear it from them, you know? This is what he had to say:


I first met Phil and Michelle towards the second half of my freshman year in 2005. I had just graduated from high school and went right into college at BSU. It was a big transition point in my life, especially in my relationship with God and really giving Him all of myself. It was also a time where I really started to see and understand how much I needed people and relationships in my life. Some Tuesday nights sucked because I felt like I was just so bad at relating and getting to know people, but Chi Alpha was a safe place: a place to get to know people, get hugs, grow up, and build friendships.

“Relationships are what hurt us, and relationships are what will heal us.” Now that I’m graduated, from BSU, I’m seeing how true that statement is. It has been another transition time that turned out to be just as pivotal and even confusing as after high school. Having Phil and Michelle in my life has been an amazing blessing. I would love to write out a list of all the ways God has blessed me through them, but it would take up too much room and some ways I haven’t even realized yet.

Phil and Michelle are such a blessing, but you already knew that if you’re still reading this newsletter! Thank you for supporting them, praying for them, being in their life. They are making a difference in my life and in the lives of others in this generation. Thank you for coming behind them because you’re helping to make it all happen too.

What a sweetie. I emailed him and thanked him for the encouragement.

So our life is full, family. We are getting these kids and pouring God's love into them the best we can. Some God-loving adults in the community have joined us and they come as well, parenting a generation that feels like a monster. Thank you so much for your help.

If you subscribe to this blog, you will get a notification every time I post an update. That way you can keep up with all that goes on here and partner with us daily! We love you!

Phil, Michelle, Grace, Ilsa, Maddie, and Eli





The secret side of me,
I'll never let you see.
I keep it caged but I can't control it.
So stay away from me,
The beast is ugly.
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it.

It's scratchin' on the walls,
In the closet, in the halls.
It comes awake and I can't control it.
Hidin' under the bed,
In my body, in my head.
Why won't somebody come and save me from this
Make it end.

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin,
I must confess that I feel like a monster.

I hate what I've become,
The nightmare's just begun.
I must confess that I feel like a monster.

I feel like a monster.

My secret side I keep,
Hid under lock and key.
I keep it caged but I can't control it.
Cause if I let him out,
He'll tear me up, break me down.
Why won't somebody come and save me from this
Make it end.

It's hidin in the dark,
It's teeth are razor sharp,
There's no escape for me,
It wants my soul, it wants my heart.

No one can hear me scream,
Maybe it's just a dream,
Or maybe it's inside of me.
Stop this monster.

I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin,
I must confess that I feel like a monster. X3

I'm gonna lose control,
It's something radical,
I must confess that I feel like a monster.
I, I feel like a monster